Category Archives: The Office

Sanwich Man tears ACL, remains unsure about future with sandwiches

BIGHAM, Mass. — Sandwich Man, aided by fine herb mayonnaise-smeared crutches, hobbled out of a cafeteria today, in what could be his last appearance in a corporate dining uniform. With nothing left to prove, Mr. Man had been producing sandwiches … Continue reading

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From Sandwich Man’s Counter: Jamaican Wednesday

TODAY’S DELI SPECIAL: Cubano Sandwich with Pork, Ham, Pickles, and Mustard. SM: Number five, she’s alive! Heheheh. SM: Yeah, today’s Jamaican Day. It’s theme five, so it resets after this one. SM: I haven’t seen you in the garage lately. SM: … Continue reading

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From Sandwich Man’s Counter: Late Lunch

TODAY’S SPECIAL: Some kind of panini SM: What’s the gang up to? Turkey burgers? SM: You got a toaster up there? Heheheheh. Oh, I gotta come up there and show that toaster how to toast. Heh. SM: When she goes … Continue reading

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From Sandwich Man’s Counter: Pepper Jack Under Crisis

TODAY’S SPECIAL: THE JACK. Get spicy peppered flavor, before you can’t. SM: Take everything, why don’t ya — but don’t take the Jack. Heh. SM: I mean, take the fucking bread, but don’t take the Pepper Jack. Man. SM: They’re trying … Continue reading

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From Sandwich Man’s Counter: Oriental Tuesday

TODAY’S SPECIAL: ASIAN WRAP [Humming] The jack is under the rack. Heheheh-ha. The jack is under the rack. Heheh. [Humming stops] The jack is under the rack. RIGHT? You want lettuce on your wrap? I mean you don’t have to, … Continue reading

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From Sandwich Man’s Counter

Enter SANDWICH MAN: The boss said, “Recommend cheddar.” I didn’t realize I could do pepper jack. Grumble. Guacamole. Mutter. Grumble. My boss never talks to me. We discovered the monkey has Velcro on one of it’s paws. Hehehe. Don’t leave … Continue reading

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From Sandwich Man’s Counter

What’s good? Bacon? Yeah, yeah, love it hehehehehe. You’re telling me a bag of fucking Skittles is intimidating? Mumble hehehehe. They say the smaller the scorpion, the more deadly it is.  Pickle chip? 

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From Sandwich Man’s Counter

TODAY, ESPECIALLY FOR YOU: Pepper Jack Cheese (You don’t know Jack, throat clear, hahahahaha) Mayonnaise, applied liberally (O-bah-MA, grumble, mutter, hahahaha) Bacon (Everything goes better with Bacon! hahahahahahaha, cough cough) Pickle, chips?

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